27.7.08

Linda linda

Boy falls in love with girl. Boy looses girl. Boy finds girl again.

Last Monday I had dinner with someone I never really thought I'd
connect with again. Linda is someone who embodies most of the things
I'm looking for in someone. She's increadibly bright and down to
earth. I intuitively get where she's coming from. Buuuut. She didn't
feel the same way of course. Even now she will dismiss it, "Well, we
had some things in common."

She is going through a tough time right now. Roomate trouble. Typical
in New York.

SHE: I don't know. He (roomie) has some real problems. He's
compulsively lying.

ME: And it's not like you're landlord will distinguish between you and
him with the unpaid half of the rent.

SHE: I have about a month to figure it all out.

ME: You know, you once gave me a bit of advice. You know, when we
were going through all that stuff back then. You said, "The world has
a way of giving you what you need."

SHE: I said that?

ME: yeah.

SHE: What a load of hooey.

I've thought about Linda a lot over the years. Rebecca actually felt
threatened by her. Everytime I went back to Philly ahe thought I'd be
secretely meeting with her. Indeed I have sort of romanticized Linda.
But seeing her that night. I realized my feelings have changed. Not in
a bad way, I mean I'd still jump at the opportunity to be with her.
But I think I've finally reached the point where my passion isn't
making me resentful. I think we can finally be friends.

6.7.08

I wish

I wish I could control my emotions.
I wish I could recognize when I'm becoming irrational.
I wish I didn't take it out on my friends.

My sister could tell me when I was getting out of hand before I'd get too far but she's gone now. Rebecca was a solid base for me to talk to but now I'm single.